Reply All: A Love/Hate Letter

Dear Reply All Button,

I must start this letter by admitting my undying devotion to and simultaneous hatred of you, dear Button. You are the thorn in my flesh and the apple of my eye. Your power to do both good and evil is never-ending. I only wish that all had the same respect for you that I have.

Almighty Button, you hold our secrets in your hands; one click and you can either elevate us or destroy us. Jobs can be lost, careers decimated, friendships severed with one false move… but glory awaits he who channels your powers correctly. One can never underestimate the power of a well-placed remark, sarcastic or witty, but even the mighty sometimes fall. The shame of being discovered by the target of such a remark is enough to keep my mind clear and my hand steady.

Unfortunately, many lack the clarity of mind and steadiness of hand that should, by rights, accompany your presence on the email interface. How carelessly they toss their words about, clicking with reckless abandon and cluttering up my inbox with their foolhardiness and inane annotations. Too often have I reveled in that glorious sound alerting me to new mail, only to have my hopes dashed by a brainless response to a missive that had nothing to do with me in the first place. Oh, hated Button, how you have betrayed me time and time again!

However, I remain hopeful that good shall prevail. Those who know and respect your strength have often provided me with countless hours of amusement and delight, and for that, I thank you.

On behalf of all who have felt the sting of shame, exultation of glory, or pain of chagrin that comes with knowing you, I vow to never abuse your powers, but only to use them for good… and for the occasional sarcastic comment.

Respectfully yours,
Joy

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