Pigeons: Harbingers of Evil
February 11th, 2010 || Ramblings || No Comments » ||
That’s right, I said pigeons. They’re evil.
Don’t try to argue, this kid will prove you wrong.
But this isn’t about you or that kid, this is about the Evil that has infiltrated my balcony and my life.
I’ve never liked pigeons much. Aside from the fact that they are dirty, disease-ridden birds, pigeons have absolutely no qualms about attacking innocents (which we learned from the great Alfred Hitchcock), and they will look right at you with those beady yellow eyes while they do it. (Their EYES are YELLOW. That’s a sign right there.)
Trivia: The most enormous (and correspondingly the most evil) pigeons are found in London’s Trafalgar Square.
This is the one, the very pigeon that yesterday tried to peck his way through a glass door and into my apartment. Oh sure, he tried to cover his intentions with what he clearly thought was an innocent coo, but I knew what he was up to. Immediately I ran for cover (and my camera) while coming up with an escape plan, but the demon’s supersonic hearing kicked in and he flew away to the next balcony. I was safe… or so I thought.
The demon returned. For a while he hid out sniper-style on the balcony across the way, consorting with his pigeon friends and plotting other ways to torture me. This particular pigeon sensed my fear and returned to my balcony again and again, cooing his evil coo and flapping his enormous wings. Finally night fell and I thought the psychological warfare was over…
But this morning, there he was, the Devil’s Spawn himself, waiting on my balcony. He was just biding his time until I was sitting on my couch, leisurely eating Special K and daydreaming about a pigeon-free day.
If only my life were that simple.
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