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Feb 11, 2010

Pigeons: Harbingers of Evil

That’s right, I said pigeons. They’re evil.

Don’t try to argue, this kid will prove you wrong.

But this isn’t about you or that kid, this is about the Evil that has infiltrated my balcony and my life.

I’ve never liked pigeons much. Aside from the fact that they are dirty, disease-ridden birds, pigeons have absolutely no qualms about attacking innocents (which we learned from the great Alfred Hitchcock), and they will look right at you with those beady yellow eyes while they do it. (Their EYES are YELLOW. That’s a sign right there.)

Trivia: The most enormous (and correspondingly the most evil) pigeons are found in London’s Trafalgar Square.

This pigeon of which I speak is the very same pigeon that yesterday tried to peck his way through a glass door and into my apartment. Oh sure, he tried to cover his intentions with what he clearly thought was an innocent coo, but I knew what he was up to. Immediately I ran for cover (and my camera) while coming up with an escape plan, but the demon’s supersonic hearing kicked in and he flew away to the next balcony. I was safe… or so I thought.

The demon returned. For a while he hid out sniper-style on the balcony across the way, consorting with his pigeon friends and plotting other ways to torture me. This particular pigeon sensed my fear and returned to my balcony again and again, cooing his evil coo and flapping his enormous wings. Finally night fell and I thought the psychological warfare was over…

But this morning, there he was, the Devil’s Spawn himself, waiting on my balcony. He was just biding his time until I was sitting on my couch, leisurely eating Special K and daydreaming about a pigeon-free day.

If only my life were that simple.

Joy Ramblings 2690Pigeons%3A+Harbingers+of+Evil2010-02-11+04%3A00%3A43Joy

Jan 22, 2010

Reply All: A Love/Hate Letter

Dear Reply All Button,

I must start this letter by admitting my undying devotion to and simultaneous hatred of you, dear Button. You are the thorn in my flesh and the apple of my eye. Your power to do both good and evil is never-ending. I only wish that all had the same respect for you that I have.

Almighty Button, you hold our secrets in your hands; one click and you can either elevate us or destroy us. Jobs can be lost, careers decimated, friendships severed with one false move… but glory awaits he who channels your powers correctly. One can never underestimate the power of a well-placed remark, sarcastic or witty, but even the mighty sometimes fall. The shame of being discovered by the target of such a remark is enough to keep my mind clear and my hand steady.

Unfortunately, many lack the clarity of mind and steadiness of hand that should, by rights, accompany your presence on the email interface. How carelessly they toss their words about, clicking with reckless abandon and cluttering up my inbox with their foolhardiness and inane annotations. Too often have I reveled in that glorious sound alerting me to new mail, only to have my hopes dashed by a brainless response to a missive that had nothing to do with me in the first place. Oh, hated Button, how you have betrayed me time and time again!

However, I remain hopeful that good shall prevail. Those who know and respect your strength have often provided me with countless hours of amusement and delight, and for that, I thank you.

On behalf of all who have felt the sting of shame, exultation of glory, or pain of chagrin that comes with knowing you, I vow to never abuse your powers, but only to use them for good… and for the occasional sarcastic comment.

Respectfully yours,
Joy

Joy Ramblings 2652Reply+All%3A+A+Love%2FHate+Letter2010-01-22+03%3A16%3A59Joy

Sep 28, 2009

Let It Rain

I haven’t been having much luck with transportation lately – even my walks to school have been fraught with peril (beyond the usual, of course).

This past week has proven to be the worst rainy season I’ve seen yet during my (almost) three years in Bangkok. Aside from the horrible thunderstorms and ridiculous downpouring of rain, the area where I live and work is one of the lowest points in the city, so that means flooding… and I don’t own any galoshes.

Usually my walk to and from work takes about five minutes, but when you have to slosh through flooding sewer water as cars splash by and motorcycles try to run you off the also-flooded sidewalk, it can be a bit of a challenge. By the time I get to school, I usually look and smell like a drowned rat.

Of course, the flooding takes a toll on both driver and pedestrian – today, for instance, I waded through the water to catch a taxi to the mall. Unfortunately the taxi wasn’t in good condition to begin with, and the deep water didn’t help, so about half a mile from my destination, the taxi starts to rattle and shake and make all sorts of terrifying noises. It finally died on the overpass, so the driver coasted to a stop on the side and got out to look… not only had the engined konked out, but he had a flat tire to boot. Needless to say, I was kicked out of the taxi and had to catch another one for the rest of the journey (and I had to pay for both).

Last week my friend Helen and I got stuck at school during a particularly bad rainstorm and eventually had to brave the floodwaters so we could get home. Naturally we took the time to video our experience.

And that’s only the tip of the iceberg… at one point during the week we were in another friend’s car, driving through the flooded street in front of our school, when water started pouring in through the floorboards…

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that the water is NOT clean and does NOT smell good.

Tomorrow I’m breaking out the hazmat suit.

Joy Pictures, Ramblings, Travel 2460Let+It+Rain2009-09-28+13%3A47%3A20Joy

Sep 11, 2009

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: Bangkok Edition

thai-elephants-maneuver-their-way-through-a-bangkok-traffic-jam-in-downtown Today was one of the most ridiculous transportation days of my life.

It started off in the usual way – dodging kamikaze sidewalk-hijacking motorcyclists while trying to walk to work – but started going downhill once I left my safe haven.

After a full day at school, my friend Robin and I were expected to be downtown at 4:00 to perform at a charity event that was raising money to help underprivileged children. Knowing it was a Friday afternoon in Bangkok, but also knowing that we had to work until 3:00, we planned to make a mad dash as soon as we could break away. An hour would be cutting it close, but we would just hope for the best.

Nearly three hours later, Robin and I were still in the taxi and had still not arrived at our destination. “Well,” we said, “that’s just Friday afternoon traffic in Bangkok… maybe they won’t start the show without us…”

And then the driver kicked us out. He apparently didn’t want to go any farther in traffic and claimed that we’d only have to walk two blocks (yeah, try six, buddy). So we climbed out and started our hike among the trecherous sidewalks of Bangkok.

We finally made it to the concert venue, horribly late and sweaty and soggy from all the post-rainstorm puddles. Miraculously the show hadn’t started yet, so I was able to perform and eat a muffin for charity (I’m always willing to sacrifice for the greater good). Unfortunately I got hit with a migraine after about an hour at the event, so I decided to skip out early and head home.

This time I had a plan: skip the taxi through downtown traffic and take the skytrain instead… If only it was that simple.

The skytrain was, of course, totally packed – I got groped several times, and the guy next to me had clearly forgotten his deodorant – but it got even worse once I got off the train and saw the line for taxis, which stretched out for at least two blocks.

At this point my migraine was raging, my feet were soaked, I was sweating like a pig, it was dark (I hate the dark), and my cell phone battery was completely dead. So, like the genius that I am, I decided to walk a few blocks and see if I could catch a taxi farther down the road.

I really should know better by now.

After about half an hour of standing on the corner waiting for an open taxi that never came, I gave up and started looking for a bus to hop on instead. Of course, I had no idea which bus to take (and no phone to call anyone with), so I just got on the first one that stopped – and with a stroke of luck, it was the right one! In the home stretch now, I settled into one of the shockingly uncomfortable seats for another thirty minutes of smelly transportation.

Finally the end was in sight. I was only a mile from home, thinking longingly of my soft bed and the good night’s sleep I was going to get… when suddenly the bus stopped.

In the middle of eight lanes of traffic.

And just like the taxi driver, the bus driver kicked us out.

In the middle of eight lanes of traffic.

Needless to say, I was quite a bit freaked out. I had to run across traffic to make it to the sidewalk (by this point laughing hysterically at the ridiculousness of my life) where thankfully there was an open taxi (where was he an hour ago?) who took me the last mile home.

So now, as I sit in my nice warm bed, I have to laugh at the fact that my life may be many things, but dull certainly isn’t one of them.

Joy Ramblings, Travel 23602009-09-11+16%3A14%3A40Joy

Jul 28, 2009

Being the Cullens

It’s every book lover’s fantasy: finding yourself face-to-face with your favorite character, able to have a conversation, shake their hand… wait in a ridiculously long line to get their autograph?

Maybe it’s not exactly as you imagined it would be, but it’s pretty darn close, and for thousands of Twilight fans, it’s a dream come true.

hillywood-edwardbella I spent an entire weekend at an Atlanta Twilight convention doing double-takes every time Edward Cullen, my favorite character in Stephenie Meyer’s best-selling series, walked by with his golden eyes and sparkling skin. It didn’t help that he walked hand-in-hand with the fictional Bella Swan and was followed by Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale… what’s a fangirl to do? Talk to their mom, of course!

No, Esme Cullen wasn’t at the convention, but Emily Hindi was. Wearing a button proclaiming herself to be the one and only “Hillymom,” Mrs. Hindi graciously granted an interview with her daughters Hilly and Hannah, creators and stars of The Hillywood Show, who masquerade as Bella and Alice at Twilight conventions across the country.

Mostly recognized for their hilarious Twilight parody video, which has reached nearly 2 million views on YouTube, the Hindi sisters are celebrities in their own right… but you wouldn’t know it from talking to them. Extremely humble and grateful to the fans for their success (even in the midst of non-stop travel and endless autograph signings), Hilly and Hannah are a breath of fresh air in a fame-hungry world.

It all started a few years ago when Hilly entered AOL’s “Be a Red Star” contest and came in third out of nearly 100,000 video entries. Though disappointed with the loss, Hilly trudged on, armed with a brand new camera and the support of a handful of fans who had seen her entry. Fifteen webisodes and several film parodies later, The Hillywood Show is a phenomenon of talent and humor. When their Twilight parody hit the web, their popularity soared, hitting a home run with the unstoppable force that is the Twilight fandom.

hillywood-alicejasper Parodies are nothing new to movie fans, and Twilight is no exception. YouTube alone is littered with parodies of the vampire flick, but The Hillywood Show is something special. The incredible costumes and make-up alone hint at a Hollywood-sized budget, not to mention the fantastic cinematography and editing, so it comes as a shock to many to discover that the entire show is written, directed, edited, and produced by Hilly and Hannah themselves. Funded entirely by the girls’ personal incomes and done on a single camera, one can only imagine what The Hillywood Show could become with a full production studio at their fingertips.

As I spoke with Hilly, Hannah, and co-stars Jacob Jost and Drew Lorentz (who play Edward and Jasper, respectively), I was struck by their attention to detail even when they aren’t behind the camera. Drew’s black contacts reflected the fictional Jasper’s constant vampire hunger, while Jacob’s golden gaze dazzled the girls in the autograph line just like Edward’s would. On the night of the convention’s “Vampire Ball,” Jacob was even coated in sparkly body glitter as they mimicked the now-infamous Entertainment Weekly cover. It is this dedication and creativity that has earned The Hillywood Show their well-deserved success.

I learned quite a bit about The Hillywood Show in my five minutes with them. Here are a few facts every Hillywood fan should know:

Hilly and Hannah’s grandmother, a professional seamstress, makes most of their costumes.
Jacob has known the Hindis for years and jumped at the chance to play Edward Cullen when they offered it.
Drew started as an extra on the show’s Sweeney Todd pieces and eventually ended up as Jasper in the Twilight parody.
Hilly and Hannah don’t really use scripts, “it’s just all in our heads!”
Hilly does all the video editing on Final Cut Pro (completely self-taught), and a full-length parody can take up to two months to complete.
Some of their make-up routines can take hours, but they’ve got their Twilight personas streamlined to 30 minutes.
In the Twilight parody, Jacob does the “Are you afraid?” voiceover, which sounds eerily identical to Robert Pattinson’s voice in the movie.
None of the Hillywood cast had read the Twilight series before seeing the film, but now they’re all fans. (Jacob hasn’t finished yet, though!)

So what’s next for The Hillywood Show? Will they rest on their laurels and take a well-deserved break? Doesn’t look that way. Hilly, Hannah, Jacob, and Drew are currently on tour, bringing their Twilight personas to conventions across the United States, including such heavy-hitters as TwiCon and Comic-Con San Diego. They’ve also got a New Moon parody planned for 2010. In spite of this busy schedule, they don’t seem to be getting sick of the Twilight frenzy. “We’re trying to ride the wave as long as we can,” claim the sisters. “It’s really getting us out there, and we’re really, really thankful.”

Twilight fans are thankful, too: The Hillywood Show brings us that much closer to our favorite characters.

Joy Fandom, Pictures 2190Being+the+Cullens2009-07-27+22%3A44%3A09Joy

Jul 20, 2009

To Con Or Not To Con?

Ah, the age-old question: should I go to that fan convention or not?

joyscaglione-twitourconventionatlanta-day3-0239 Let’s face it, conventions can be lots of fun… or lots of frustration. Long lines, sleepless nights, crowded rooms… awesome stars, photo ops, complete fan immersion! What you get out of a con depends on what you want and how you go about getting it.

Want to meet your favorite celebrity? Want to get that priceless autograph? Of course you do… but get ready to shell out some dough. If you want the full, up-close-and-personal convention experience, VIP is the way to go. Lots of conventions offer some sort of Willy Wonka Golden Ticket package (although with significantly less candy) which will cost a small fortune; however, you get what you pay for! Front-row seats, backstage access, autograph sessions and photo ops with the stars… real royal treatment. Companies that run conventions just love their VIP customers and will go the extra mile to make sure you’re happy with your con experience.

Of course, the average con-goer can’t afford (or isn’t willing) to break the bank just for a fan-filled weekend, and the powers that be know that. A smart convention company will offer a variety of ticket packages for conventioners on a budget (like myself). A cheap con weekend can cost you as low as $20 per day… but again, you get what you pay for. If you don’t mind sitting in the back row, craning your neck and polishing your binoculars just to get a glimpse of your favorite star, the low-cost route is the way to go. You’ll still get to meet lots of interesting people and fan your little heart out!

“Isn’t there some in-between option?” you may be asking. Of course! Lots of cons will let you purchase separate tickets for certain events. For example, you might pay the general admission price to sit in the back row for a panel, then spend a little more to attend a special concert or get an autograph… a ‘mix and match’ approach, if you will. You don’t have to spend next year’s rent money just to have fun!

Hang on now, there’s more! Let’s say you’re a reporter/photographer/blogger/big-name-fan and you want to get some juicy material for your paper/website/blog/whatever. If you’re lucky, you might be able to secure yourself a press pass to the event. What does this mean? Well, it varies from con to con – you might get full access to all the best parts of the con, or you might just be able to get up close during panels and take a few pictures. If you decide to go this route, here are a few words of advice:

» Apply early! Don’t wait until the day before the con to apply for a press pass.
» Sell yourself! Let them know who you are, where you’re from, and what kind of publicity you can offer them… they don’t just give out passes to anybody.
» Be prepared! Don’t leave your camera batteries uncharged (not that I did that or anything…).
» Make contacts! Try to buddy up to other press people, they’re fun!

Being press can be fun, but it can also be stressful. Other fans might look at you with respect and awe, but the convention staff might not give a flying fart in space that you’re there. From my personal experience, being press might get you some good material, but you might also have to sacrifice some of your self-respect and dignity to get it. If the con staff is smart (and you’re really, really lucky), they’ll recognize that you’re giving them free publicity and kiss up to you all weekend… but most likely not. Be prepared to elbow your way around the con to get what you want and need, but remember: acting like a jerk will just make it that much worse for you. Be respectful and follow the guidelines, but don’t be surprised if you suddenly become invisible.

So, to con or not to con? CON! But do it with your eyes open and know what you’re getting into! Read other fans’ accounts of their con experiences, do your research… and drink lots of water (conning is exhausting!).

Got your own con experience to share? Leave a comment! :)

Joy Fandom, Ramblings 1500To+Con+Or+Not+To+Con%3F2009-07-20+02%3A38%3A54Joy

Jul 13, 2009

Twi/Tour Convention Day Three

The third day of the convention was shorter but still packed with stuff to do! Kellan and Ashley returned for the first session and wowed everyone once again! They really are close friends and they act like brother and sister – it’s adorable! Here are a few of my favorite bits from their talk:

joyscaglione-twitourconventionatlanta-day3-0036 » Kellan’s publicist wanted him to audition for Edward, but Kellan refused!
» Ashley’s advice to aspiring actors: “Work really hard, stay out of clubs!” and “Believe in yourself!”
» Kellan is excited about New Moon and Eclipse: “I really just want to see the wolves, see them transform and kick butt!”
» Kellan admitted his weirdest quirk: “When I drink from a drinking fountain I always count to 10 for some reason.”
» They both expressed a desire to make a difference with their lives. Kellan said, “I want to be a light in the industry,” and Ashley said, “I want to be remembered for something… I don’t know what it is yet, but I’m going to do something great.”
» Ashley’s favorite part of Twilight was “jumping off the balcony… and ripping James’ head off wasn’t bad either!”
» Kellan’s favorite part was his car: “I just love that jeep! Jumping off it and eating my eggs in it!”
» The most akward part of filming? “Watching Rob try to run.”
» Ashley on Rob: “He’s still the same person… He’s funny, unintentionally.”
» Kellan on Rob: “I just like making fun of him.” And when he plays his guitar? “He transforms into this angel.”
» Kellan confessed his dream of filling up his pool with gummy bears!
» When asked what they would do for a Klondike bar, Ashley quipped, “What wouldn’t Kellan do for a Klondike bar?”
» Ashley had to disappear backstage for a few minutes, so Kellan took over for her! He did a great impression of her voice…

joyscaglione-twitourconventionatlanta-day3-0195 After the first session, Alison and I had the wonderful opportunity to interview the Hillywood Show. I’ll be giving them a post all to themselves later on this week because they’re just so fantastic… I was very much dazzled! But right after that, the great Catherine Hardwicke herself took the stage and had every fan enthralled!

» Catherine told the bedroom audition story again – fangirls were swooning with jealousy!
» She said that Rob actually made an audition tape for Twilight but didn’t send it to her because he hated it so much!
» Catherine was “desperate” for an Edward and was so happy when she found Rob!
» She talked extensively about her favorite places to film and her upcoming project, Hamlet!

See over 100 pictures from the day right here!

This week I’ll be going through all my material to bring you even more awesome quotes from your favorite stars! If you’ve been following my convention coverage, here’s what’s coming up next:

» To Con or Not To Con? A Fan’s Perspective!
» The Hillywood Show Exclusive Interview!
» More Great Material From Twi/Tour!

I’m actually taking a graduate course this week, so I probably won’t get everything up right away, but you’re more than welcome to follow my twitter and catch my updates! :)

Joy Fandom, Pictures 1377Twi%2FTour+Convention+Day+Three2009-07-13+01%3A42%3A17Joy

Jul 12, 2009

Twi/Tour Vampire Ball

joyscaglione-twitourconventionatlanta-day2-0289 Originally I wasn’t going to go to the Vampire Ball, because a) it was too expensive, and b) press isn’t allowed into the evening events without tickets, but Alison and I decided to hang around outside the ball and snag pictures of people in costume… and we ended up getting access into the actual event for what we intended to be just a little while, which ended up being for three hours! We went around to the tables and got pictures of the entries for the centerpiece contest and tried our darndest to snag pictures of The Hillywood Show, who were dressed up as the EW cover. Unfortunately my camera battery died about 10 pictures in, so I just followed Alison around and gathered people’s names for her newspaper!

Once Kellan and Ashley arrived and started making their way around to all the tables, we knew we wouldn’t be able to get any pictures and we’d probably get kicked out if we tried. We ended up hiding in the corner, trying not to make eye contact with any of the celebrity handlers, who were fan-blocking and camera-confiscating all over the place… a few girls almost got kicked out for trying to tackle Kellan!

We did get to meet The Hillywood Show’s manager – Hilly and Hannah’s mom – who was so sweet and lovely! She got us our own photo op with the group and arranged for us to meet with them this morning for a short interview and photoshoot! I’ll be writing a full report later!

On today’s agenda: Kellan and Ashley together on stage, and then Catherine Hardwicke in the afternoon! I’ll be driving home directly after she’s done, so I might not get my report and pictures up until tomorrow, but keep following me on twitter for the latest updates!

Joy Fandom, Pictures 1281Twi%2FTour+Vampire+Ball2009-07-12+14%3A22%3A29Joy

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The Traveling Teacher

ramblings of an adventurer. teacher. traveler. writer. photographer. singer. webmaster. bibliophile. fangirl.