The Traveling Teacher

Pigeons: Harbingers of Evil

February 11th, 2010 || Ramblings || 269No Comments »Pigeons%3A+Harbingers+of+Evil2010-02-11+04%3A00%3A43Joy+Scaglione

That’s right, I said pigeons. They’re evil.

Don’t try to argue, this kid will prove you wrong.

But this isn’t about you or that kid, this is about the Evil that has infiltrated my balcony and my life.

I’ve never liked pigeons much. Aside from the fact that they are dirty, disease-ridden birds, pigeons have absolutely no qualms about attacking innocents (which we learned from the great Alfred Hitchcock), and they will look right at you with those beady yellow eyes while they do it. (Their EYES are YELLOW. That’s a sign right there.)

Trivia: The most enormous (and correspondingly the most evil) pigeons are found in London’s Trafalgar Square.

This is the one, the very pigeon that yesterday tried to peck his way through a glass door and into my apartment. Oh sure, he tried to cover his intentions with what he clearly thought was an innocent coo, but I knew what he was up to. Immediately I ran for cover (and my camera) while coming up with an escape plan, but the demon’s supersonic hearing kicked in and he flew away to the next balcony. I was safe… or so I thought.

The demon returned. For a while he hid out sniper-style on the balcony across the way, consorting with his pigeon friends and plotting other ways to torture me. This particular pigeon sensed my fear and returned to my balcony again and again, cooing his evil coo and flapping his enormous wings. Finally night fell and I thought the psychological warfare was over…

But this morning, there he was, the Devil’s Spawn himself, waiting on my balcony. He was just biding his time until I was sitting on my couch, leisurely eating Special K and daydreaming about a pigeon-free day.

If only my life were that simple.

Reply All: A Love/Hate Letter

January 22nd, 2010 || Ramblings || 2652 Comments »Reply+All%3A+A+Love%2FHate+Letter2010-01-22+03%3A16%3A59Joy+Scaglione

Dear Reply All Button,

I must start this letter by admitting my undying devotion to and simultaneous hatred of you, dear Button. You are the thorn in my flesh and the apple of my eye. Your power to do both good and evil is never-ending. I only wish that all had the same respect for you that I have.

Almighty Button, you hold our secrets in your hands; one click and you can either elevate us or destroy us. Jobs can be lost, careers decimated, friendships severed with one false move… but glory awaits he who channels your powers correctly. One can never underestimate the power of a well-placed remark, sarcastic or witty, but even the mighty sometimes fall. The shame of being discovered by the target of such a remark is enough to keep my mind clear and my hand steady.

Unfortunately, many lack the clarity of mind and steadiness of hand that should, by rights, accompany your presence on the email interface. How carelessly they toss their words about, clicking with reckless abandon and cluttering up my inbox with their foolhardiness and inane annotations. Too often have I reveled in that glorious sound alerting me to new mail, only to have my hopes dashed by a brainless response to a missive that had nothing to do with me in the first place. Oh, hated Button, how you have betrayed me time and time again!

However, I remain hopeful that good shall prevail. Those who know and respect your strength have often provided me with countless hours of amusement and delight, and for that, I thank you.

On behalf of all who have felt the sting of shame, exultation of glory, or pain of chagrin that comes with knowing you, I vow to never abuse your powers, but only to use them for good… and for the occasional sarcastic comment.

Respectfully yours,
Joy

Project 365

January 2nd, 2010 || Pictures || 2601 Comment »Project+3652010-01-02+03%3A24%3A10Joy+Scaglione

In celebration of my gorgeous new camera, I will once again be participating in Project 365. One picture for every day of 2010, which will be posted at Photographic Daydream. Selected photographs from my 2008 venture into the project can be seen here.