My cat is afraid of jeans.

Ollivander is a 10-week-old typical kitten who loves to attack everything in sight, so I figured his attacks on my jeans were normal… Despite my best efforts to teach him that my legs are not scratching posts nor are they part of a jungle gym, when I’m wearing jeans, Ollie can climb from my feet to my shoulders in seconds (he’ll be an Olympic medalist someday, I’m sure). Normal pants don’t seem to affect him nearly as much, and if I’m wearing shorts he ignores my legs altogether and goes straight for the toes.

But this morning as I pulled my jeans from the drawer, Ollie went ballistic. It was like I’d set off fireworks in the house – his reaction was even more dramatic than when he met his first dog. He jumped two feet in the air, hissed and scratched and attacked the left leg with a vengeance until he decided that the fight could not be won and hid under the table for a good ten minutes. Not even a kitty treat could coax him out of there until I had put the jeans out of sight. Then he was back to his cute and cuddly self and I could gently ease the pants out of the drawer and put them on like a normal person who doesn’t have a psychotic jean-fearing kitten on the loose.

At least he uses the litter box.

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